The Righteous Gemstones, Southern Comfort and Jalapeño Corn Bread Muffins

Getting evangelical about a hilarious show that's flown under the radar in the UK

What to watch tonight: The Righteous Gemstones (Sky Atlantic/Now)

It had taken 12 Christmases, but Dwayne finally completed his outfit made entirely from Quality Street wrappers / Credit: HBO

I have no idea why The Righteous Gemstones has had next to no marketing or advertising in the UK; as it’s a hilarious gem (ahem) of a series that also happens to feature the internet’s current favourite daddy: Walton Goggins.

Admittedly, I only got on to the darkly funny show, written by and starring Danny McBride, in preparation for a recent interview with Goggins – who was let’s just say…a little bit prickly about chatting anything White Lotus/Aimee Lou Wood-adjacent – but for me, it was an instant hit. It’s sort of like Succession, if it were set in an Evangelical church, as three adult children clamour to take over the family business of publicly praising the good lord Jesus; but who off-camera lead anything but pious lives.

Goggins is utterly scene-stealing as their uncle, Baby Billy Freeman, a coke-snorting, tap-dancing pastor who dresses like Liberace, if he’d found God. Goggins – and his naked bum – don’t make an appearance until the third episode of the first series, but it’s a wild ride from then onwards. There’s flashbacks of his relationship with his late sister, Aimee-Lee Gemstone (Jennifer Nettles); who as kids were a performing duo of the Osmonds-ilk, and who’s Misbehavin’ song will be stuck in your head from the moment you hear it:

As someone correctly notes underneath: “This song has no right to slap as hard as it does”.

Aimee-Lee and husband, Gemstones patriarch Eli (John Goodman) and their three idiotic offspring, Jesse (McBride), Kelvin (Adam DeVine) and Judy (Edi Paterson) spend most of their time bitching to each other and competing to see who is Daddy’s favourite child. Answer: he’d probably leave his vast kumbaya fortune to anyone other than his kids – any one, as long as it’s not his nefarious brother-in-law, Baby Billy.

I’m only on the first series so far, but the show came to an end this weekend with the finale to the fourth and final season. I’ve seen clips of Teenjus, a musical starring 70-something Baby Billy as a rapping teenage Jesus, and good lord, I can’t wait to ascend to this point of Gemstones enlightenment.

What do they eat and drink in The Righteous Gemstones?

And Lo, did one brother say to another: Food fight! / Credit: HBO

Well, they’ve come a long way from 12 loaves and fishes. It’s all about Southern comfort food here; as the families often meet up for big, slap-up traditional meals: you know the kind of meat-and-mac’n’cheese feasts where the only vegetables are creamed, deep-fried or drenched in butter; all served with a side of vicious sibling insults.

“It wouldn’t be Sunday if I didn’t have a belly-full of meat and roast,” says one visiting pastor in one such meal. Any non-meat eaters are viewed with extreme suspicion (Judy’s fiance BJ is chastised for being vegetarian) as chewing down on steak not only asserts their masculinity as A-Mur-I-Cun men, but is also their god-given right to feed off the land He’s given them.

But it’s not all-natural fare – far from it. The land of the free also blesses them with all number of teeth-destroyingly sweet treats: there’s the forever crowd-pleasers of cherry pie, and all the sibs are obsessed with soda and fizzy drinks – the cross-over with the dirty sodas of Mormon reality stars of Mom-Tok is a particularly unholy alliance.

What should I eat and drink watching The Righteous Gemstones?

Credit: Flickr - ginnerobot

Let’s have a little Southern-states favourite snack, which can be eaten on its own, just warm from the oven, or with a bowl of chilli, or even as a brunch carb, with fried eggs, cheese and a good salsa. This recipe is adapted from Caravan’s muffins – and Another Pantry recipe – where I was first introduced to them:

Jalapeño and Cheddar corn-bread muffins

Makes about 12

Ingredients:

• 430g plain flour

• 160g fine polenta

• 1 tsp of paprika

• 2 tsp baking powder

• 160g Cheddar cheese, grated

• 150g of sweetcorn

• 1 tsp salt

• fresh black pepper

• 400 mls whole milk or buttermilk

• 3 eggs

• 240 mls vegetable oil

• About 20 slices of pickled jalapeños, finely diced, leaving another 12 for garnish

Method:

1. Heat oven to 180°C.

2. In a bowl, mix up the flour, polenta, paprika, baking powder, salt and pepper.

3. In another bowl, add the buttermilk, vegetable oil and eggs and whisk well.

4. Now add the wet ingredients to the dry bowl, mix, and add the sweetcorn, diced jalapeños and Cheddar.

5. Put the mix into a well-oiled muffin tin, putting a jalapeño slice on top. Bake for 25-30 mins, or until golden brown and a skewer comes out clean when tested. Best eaten while still warm!

To drink, let’s make like the Gemstones. I’d have my annual holiday Coca-Cola: served in a large glass with loads of ice, and with some lemon and lime wedges squeezed in.

Cheers!