Don't Die, Snake Oil and Nutty Pudding
Why Bryan Johnson's extreme diet needs to be taken with a big pinch of (Himalayan) salt
What to watch tonight: Don’t Die: The Man Who Wants To Live Forever (Netflix)
Nothing says “regretting your lifestyle decisions” more than watching a man on TV rationalising his extreme health kick – to live forever – while you clutch a pint of full-fat Coke and a Dominos on New Year's Day.
In another scheduling triumph for Netflix – is there an award for this at the Emmys/Baftas/Golden Globes? There should be – you may or may not have been drawn into the car-crash documentary that is Don’t Die: The Man Who Wants To Live Forever on the first day of the year.
If you haven’t had the pleasure, then please stick it on, I really need to talk to somebody else about this. Directed by festival fiasco Fyre’s Chris Smith, it examines the life of Bryan, specifically Bryan Johnson, a 47-year-old, multi-millionaire (his company bought Venmo; he then sold it to PayPal) who has set himself one mission: don’t die.
For the past few years, he’s spent reportedly more than $4 million on bio-hacking his body; treating it and his life like a depressing giant medical experiment in the hopes of making it to see the year 2125, at least. This includes waking up at 4.30am every day, taking up to 130 pills a day, eating all three of his meals by 11am, is tee-total and and bathes in LED light. So far, so Diary Of A CEO.
But then, it gets more The Substance. He’s had blood-plasma transfusions from his teenage son; he takes an experimental drug called rapamycin that’s shown in some studies – on mice, it should be noted – to lead to longer life; and he pops by to a dubious medically-deregulated island off the coast of Honduras for gene therapy. Here, some medi-tech bros raise the idea that a drug called follistatin can lead to a 30% increased life span – again, in mice! Not humans! – with a side effect of looking extra hench, something which Johnson finds incredibly pleasing, despite having to alter his DNA for good as part of the process. Somewhat disconcertingly, one of the company’s founders explained that their gene therapy doesn’t integrate into the DNA as it has “a kill switch”, making the whole thing sound like a terrifying dystopian Alex Garland novel.
I’m very conflicted about the whole thing really, but it’s a very interesting-slash-disturbing watch. Yes, it makes the important point that when people have no access to free healthcare, they have to find other alternatives (and that surely money should be pumped into preventative care, rather than curative). Also, why shouldn’t people be offered suggestions as to how to improve their overall health? But the wild, unregulated manner in which the obsessed Johnson is going about this borders on the unhinged, and as one of his critics points out, should he succeed, how would the science world know what of all his processes was the one thing that actually worked? Wouldn’t he have been better off donating millions to science to perform controlled experiments on the dodgy drugs?
Plus, despite all of Johnson’s grandstanding proclamations about doing this for the benefit of mankind is then undermined by him hawking – go on, have a guess – a series of supplements, biomarking tests (Theranos energy, anyone?) and extra virgin olive oil on his website. When people show you who they are; believe them, the saying goes. Johnson’s olive oil is literally called “Snake Oil”.
What do they eat on Don’t Die?
Not much, and certainly nothing past midday. Johnson has previously revealed that he eats a vegan diet of just 1,977 calories a day, and he eats breakfast, lunch and dinner in quick succession in the morning, essentially fasting for the remainder of the day (when he goes to bed at 8.30pm).
Then like every wellness aficionado, he has his “green juice”, consisting of chlorella, creatine and collagen. He says he eats a “few pounds of vegetables” after his hour-long morning work out, and up on screen flashes a long list of veggies and pulses, including black lentils, broccoli, shiitake mushrooms, sweet potatoes, ginger root, hemp seeds, extra virgin olive oil and “100% dark chocolate”, presumably so his regime isn’t completely joyless, even though it appears to be very much so.
What to eat and drink while you’re watching Don’t Die
I mean, if you’ve already called in a takeaway or are still finishing off the last of the Celebrations, knock yourself out: absolutely no judgement here.
But alongside his little square of daily dark chocolate, the only other “treat” he really allows himself is what he calls his “nutty pudding”. This is a mixture of chia seeds, ground walnuts and macadamia nuts and some berries and cherries. In the doc when Johnson goes off on his community Don’t Die hiking trips, he promises all ramblers a bowl of nutty pudding at the finish line: another nice time to remind them of his supplements – and other merch! – available online. “It’s a sick and twisted cult!” he jokes in the film. Or just an extreme marketing ploy?
Anyway, chia seed pudding is actually pretty delicious and with a few tweaks to make it a little less worthy, it’s an excellent snack for TV watching – just remember to make it in the morning as it’ll need about 4 hours to set in the fridge.
Chocolate and berry chia seed pudding
Serves 4
Ingredients
60g chia seeds
400mls of non-dairy milk; I find coconut tastes best, but can also use almond or hazelnut
3 tablespoons of cacao powder or drinking chocolate
2 tablespoons of maple syrup
½ teaspoon of vanilla extract
A pinch of salt
A handful of blueberries, raspberries and/or strawberries
A few squares of dark chocolate (or leftover Celebrations!)
Method
In a bowl, whisk up the chia seeds, milk, cacao, maple syrup, vanilla extract and salt until combined and there’s no loose powder floating around
Separate into four small glasses and leave in the fridge for four hours, or even overnight
To serve, drop some of the berries on top of the pudding, and grate the chocolate squares on top. Serve, enjoy and get on with actually enjoying your life.
Cheers!
Is this the guy that lives in Venice Beach?